As some of you may know, I have been working on a passion project called The Reel Deal: Real Talent, Tips, and Tales—A Journey through the New Zealand film community—for over ten years now, on and off. The Reel Deal is a colourful, behind-the-scenes exploration of Aotearoa’s celebrated film industry—from the perspective of the people who paint, build, design, and breathe life into its visual storytelling. Part memoir, practical guide, and celebration, this book weaves together behind-the-scenes stories, career journeys, tips, and tools from more than 50 creatives
Some of you may also know I have been diagnosed with an aggressive form of Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia. Thanks to this unexpected illness, I have had plenty of time not working to focus on finishing my book project… well, in between dealing with illness, medical investigations, and starting a clinical trial. Over time, I’ve come to realise and appreciate that my passion project and my clinical and health goals go hand in hand on this journey towards remission.
Completing the book and getting it out there has taken much more time than I initially thought when I started over a decade ago. When I was first diagnosed with CLL, I believed I would be one of those people who had little trouble with the disease. However, when I found out I was progressing faster and had three concerning genetic markers, the disease became much more present in my life, eating up my mana, energy, resilience, motivation, time, and career goals. I turned to the book project to give me something else to focus on outside of the illness and to provide a purpose—beyond wanting quality time with my beautiful daughter— and excitement to keep on keeping on. Trying to keep positive and leaning into the old saying, turning lemons into lemonade, well, I prefer lemon tarts, but you get the idea.
I didn't want to share too much about what was going on with me because I wanted to stay on the Positivity train, and I found that explaining things too much kept my headspace in a place I didn't want to be, and so much was and still is unknown. At the beginning of this year, I really thought the book, its layout and the pitch would be done and out there by mid-year. I believed getting on the clinical trial would be the biggest hurdle, and that, from what the doctors said, there was a good chance I would be back to near normal living after a few months. Well, my timeline goal posts have been thrown out the window. Everything has taken longer than expected.
My health journey has taken me on several ED/ER ambulance rides, quite a few specialist visits, and so many CT scans- I think I must glow in the dark. I have been on and off the trial drug several times now. Off now for more investigations. So no, I have come to learn this journey has just begun.
Regarding the book—just getting photo permissions in line has taken since the beginning of the year. Thank goodness for all those wonderful film crew who contributed to making that happen in the end. I thought pitching it would be easy, but I found out it is actually quite difficult to get a publisher to even read past the pitch to look at content without ticking a whole lot of boxes and convincing them you are marketable-e.g., having an online presence, fame, marketing plan, etc. Urgh, it is exhausting just thinking about it.
I needed some new goal posts. I had to ask myself what I could do to keep moving forward on these entangled journeys. I tried to focus on what I realistically could achieve. Baby steps, baby steps. A couple of weeks ago, I woke up with the exciting idea of starting a website and blog—one that ties into my book and passion to share, celebrate, and encourage through it, as well as my journey towards remission.
So now, I welcome you to follow my page/blog, Keep on Keeping on; my journey to getting published and more. You can also check out the website, which is accessible but ‘under construction’ as I continue to add to it at my pace. The plan is to continue what I started with my book, highlighting and celebrating the film crew, while encouraging students or anyone interested in film work. It will feature a blog link, a gallery page for the film crew to share fun photos (respectful of confidentiality agreements, of course), new interviews, scenic/props painting tips, and book updates.
May we all find inspiration to keep on keeping on with joy in our hearts- T.E.
